Free Will: The Power of Choice - Living with God's Guidance

I realised something in the beginning of the Bible in Genesis that really got me thinking.

Why would God put a forbidden apple in the Garden of Eden in the first place? He could have just left it out and it would have remained a paradise. If you think about it deeper, He gave Adam and Eve the choice to disobey by having the apple placed in their world. God cannot force anyone to obey, otherwise it would be a beautiful prison. Because love is not Love without free will...

We are blessed with free will, the ability to make choices every day. Yet, with that gift comes responsibility, uncertainty, and sometimes, regret.

I’ve walked through seasons where I made decisions on my own, without asking God for wisdom or guidance. Some worked out, some didn’t. And through those experiences, I learned an important truth: our choices matter, but God’s guidance matters even more.

Free will isn’t about ignoring God. It’s about learning to align our choices with His wisdom, so our decisions lead to peace instead of regret.

My Life Before Seeking God's Guidance

Before I invited God into my decisions:

    •    I relied solely on my feelings or what seemed right at the moment.

    •    I chased goals that looked good on paper but left my heart exhausted.

    •    I made choices that were convenient, not necessarily wise or fulfilling.

“The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?” ~ Jeremiah 17:9 (NIV)

Looking back, I can see that my free will was being used, yes — but without God’s guidance, it often led me into unnecessary struggles. I learned the hard way that independence without God is incomplete.

I would like to share with you my raw reflections on free will and how God shaped me as a first time Single Mother. I was in a 7 year relationship going to 8 before my split from my child's Father. I was engaged in the 7th year, then traditionally married (not legally on paper) in the 8th. My Marriage lasted 5 months... 5 short months.

For those last 3 months of the marriage, I had a 3 month old baby girl in my hands.

I don't really want to re-live the agony of postpartum by explaining it to you.

But that was the most traumatic part, I suffered. Plenty happened but that is a story for another day.

By God's grace, I found my way out of a season in my life that nearly broke me.

I ended the relationship myself because I knew that I couldn't let my daughter see this side of me growing up. The vulnerable me. I needed her to grow up strong. Children have a way of making you look into a mirror and taking out the parts of you that they should never aspire to be. In the future, she too would be a wife and mother. This reality check made me change into someone my daughter will one day call her role model.

It was much more than not being happy anymore. I felt broken, unheard and unseen. I would be showing her life through my eyes. I have seen generations within bloodlines repeat history unintentionally, trying to be different from their Father or Mother but they always ended up searching for the things they lacked. I did not want her to repeat history so I left the source of my pain.

I watched the person I loved most spit hate at me towards our end as a couple and then plenty more after that as a co-parent. It broke my heart. No one talks about the pain of leaving someone you love that destroys you internally over time. It's one of the hardest battles. God doesn't let you sit in a room your not suppose to be in. There will be signs. The biggest being no peace.

There are still things I am trying to forgive. Words are a powerful thing and some things really do stick for a lifetime. Being on the receiving end of verbal abuse made me realise how powerful the tongue is. Another persons words changed the way I lived, loved and thought about myself.

The tongue has the power of life and death , and those who love it will eat their fruit ~ Proverbs 21:23 (NIV)

Our words carry power. They can heal or hurt, build or break. Words of Life: encouragement, love and faith. Words of Death: Hate, doubt, curses. What we speak over ourselves and others eventually shape our reality. This can also apply to the words we hear. Not every word spoken to you deserves space in your heart. You have the power to choose what you accept.

But by the Grace of God, I saw myself for who I really was. God opened my eyes and showed me the person I was before I even entered the relationship. I had forgotten. My light, the way I shined with dreams, my world coming back in colour. It was beautiful. I was fighting depression but somehow after leaving my ex, I saw ME for the first time in a long time.

I had stopped doing the hobbies I loved gradually years ago but suddenly my love for them came back. I felt like a teenager again that had the whole world to experience. I had made so many compromises along the way at my own expense. I held back dreams, I held back the things I loved to do, all for the sake of nurturing our bond.

That was never in my personality so I wondered how I got tamed. Then I remembered, my choices. At some point I started putting myself last to make things work. I was under the impression that when in a relationship, you must compromise even with what makes you, YOU. I was completely wrong.

As Women we tend to lose ourselves in love, family and our responsibilities. That was never God's design. God never called us to shrink ourselves for love or to pour from an empty cup. His plan was always for us to love from a place of wholeness, not depletion.

"Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name; You are mine." ~ Isaiah 43:1 (NIV)

You belong to God. Your identity and worth come from Him, not from how much you give.

I couldn't believe I let myself get this far in the deep end. I was not the type to keep hate in my heart. No, I didn't hate my ex, I actually had already forgave him. What I found hardest was forgiving myself. I made the decision to be married and have a child. I stuck out the relationship and ignored the red flags all this time.

Do you ever look back at your youthful self and remember the tough you that would never let themselves go through this? My 15 year old self would have told my 30 year old self "Have you lost your mind? How did you let this happen to us?"

That kind of regret hits different.

When I think about why God would let this happen to me, I think positively. Because thats God's character, I believe He is using me as a testimony for others, He led me to write this and publish it. He gave me hope when I felt like my life was falling apart. If I can serve God by being a living testimony for my brothers and sisters of faith and show them there is glory after going through what I would describe as the most difficult part of my life. Then I would gladly go through this with an audience.

If you think about others and their faith in God. When your life gets better and others can see your successes after so much failure, give your thanks to God publicly. Then the people around you will wonder if they have spoken to God recently and hopefully aim to start a relationship with Him too. That’s how you spread God's good character.

How God’s Guidance Changed My Decisions

When I started seeking God before making choices:

    •    I prayed, reflected, and asked Him to show the right path.

    •    I noticed clarity replacing confusion, and peace replacing anxiety.

    •    My decisions aligned more with purpose, not impulse.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” ~ Proverbs 3:5-6 (NIV)

Including God doesn’t remove free will, He empowers it. I still choose, but now my choices are filtered through His wisdom. The difference is freedom, not restriction.

When God starts to work on your life, he works on your mindset first then your actions start to align with his plan for you. You have to change your thinking in order to survive and God is literally the embodiment of that. Nothing negative in life that happens comes from God. it will always be either your own choices that you made without God's guidance or the enemy testing you, trying to corrupt you to do more harm.

I always felt like the enemy is real. There are definitely opposing forces out there that want to prove God's creations can be corrupted. Many will call him Satan and I believe he has the power to talk through people. Sometimes our friends and family or our own minds, especially when we are spiralling in life.

I believe that any action that produces a negative feeling, for example when your co-parent provokes you and says hurtful thing, that is not from God. That is the enemy testing you through them. Blaming our Heavenly Father for anything that is not of His character never sat right with me.

Even if you made bad decisions, even if you took the harder way, God will always reach out to you. All because of His Undying, Eternal Love For You. Like a parent to a child, God will guide you back to Him. Don't let your faith die.

"The Lord, the Lord, the compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfullness." ~ Exodus 34:6 (NIV)

Reflection/Devotional Thought

Free will is freedom, but guidance is wisdom.

We can choose our paths, but God shows the direction that leads to joy, purpose, and peace.

Ask yourself:

    •    When have I relied on my own understanding and regretted it?

    •    How can I invite God into my decisions today?

    •    What small choice can I make with His guidance that could change the course of my week, month, or year?

“In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps.” — Proverbs 16:9 (NIV)

God is still writing your story, and I’d love for you to walk alongside me as He writes mine. Comment and subscribe to the blog for faith-based encouragement, honest co-parenting reflections, and gentle reminders that grace is always enough.

P.S I run a business selling Bible Tabs and Accessories to make your time with God special. Have a peek!

Much Love,

May

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